I think scott just propositioned me for sex
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
is wine microwaveable?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize