I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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