this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize