So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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