I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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