like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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