1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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