it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
