Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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