im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
