No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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