so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just high enough for therapy.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
