Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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