I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
