Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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