kristin has been a bad kristin
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
