You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
they need to just BURY HIM!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize