I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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