i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
