he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
