i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
