This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
