careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
