Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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