You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
