could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
