I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
