More tranny stories later!
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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