I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
