I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
