I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize