whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
