It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
