evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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