Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
