weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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