Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
