One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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