i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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