You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
