I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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