i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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