She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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