Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
