I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
