It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
