Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
