dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
