Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize