and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
