We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
