Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
