i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
