On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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