Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
