I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
