There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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