She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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